I will usually link something which ends abruptly with playing games and perhaps some other nonsensical stuffs. But for some other stuffs that ends abruptly, it hurts. Especially things with matter with the heart. I was in 3 episodes of “Who wants to be a millionaire” before. But I was never on the hot seat. Sigh~ That was almost over 4-5 years ago. Wow?! I never knew it was that long ago. Hmm… time flies. I’ve to produce 4 issues of magazines in a year. That’s my job. I went to that very office in September 2002. Its been more than 4 years now. How time flies. So after 52 months, its about time to bid a fond farewell to the place I used to love. I used to love. I wanna emphasised that point. Work was pretty routine then. Go in to office, browse emails, edit pictures, brain-storm ideas for new posters and other creative stuffs. But these days, its getting more n more hectic. Its not that I am complaining about the extra work, but sometimes it does help to feel appreciated. Like how my boss gave me a “thumbs up” and thank me for what I did. It boosted my morale. Alot, in fact.
Actually all it takes was just a gesture to say how you appreciated your subordinate’s job. Yes, occasionally we get the drubbing from the big man. Which employee doesn’t? Give praise to your people once in awhile. You will surely feel the difference, as a superior. Sometimes even as peers and colleagues. It helps alot to give each other a pat on the back. Even as family members. Parents praising their kids. Siblings thanking each other for the help rendered. =) I am sure you will feel good too, by praising someone. What does it take to praise someone? Give that good friend of yours a big hug? Does it hurt you any bit? I’m sure it won’t. But I know its not in our culture to do such deeds. Give it a try sometime. Don’t wait till there is no more chance to do so. Then you might just live to regret it.
Back to my shocking realisation. Yes, I must admit it hurts. But I am also aware of the things going on. Speak the truth. The most painful thing is that you do not know why and how it abruptly ends. There must be a reason for everything. All I want to know is the truth. It may be the most painful thing, but at least its the truth. I’m like a stranger now. No greetings. No hellos. No friendly gestures. Nothing. It wasn’t like this before. Why does it have to come to such a state? I asked myself, “Was it me?” I’ve reflected. I may have my flaws and other negative traits. But to be treated like how I am being treated now. As David Moyes puts it after the Blackburn lost, “Its undeserving”. I dun think anyone owes me any explanations. But I need to know answers. If it was really me, let me know. Face to face. Not hiding behind some wall that was set-up over night. I actually witnessed how a wall could be erected over one night. Maybe even fewer than a few hours? Hmm… How few is fewer than a few? Haha… Sorry, but my mathematics ain’t that great. I will bounce back. We all grow alittle wiser after each failure. But that’s only if you can find out why and how you failed. Only when you know and clearly understood how you failed, will you be able to learn not to commit the same mistakes again. But human beings are such amazing creatures. We will still walk that same path, again. Like how Casper will always walk that same path, even though he may or may not know there are ants that will bite him there. But sometimes when I observed him, he seems to remember which spots are infested with ants. He will skip them. But occasionally, he will walk into the same “trap” again. How do we avoid that “trap”? Or was it a “trap” we set ourselves upon? Whatever the case, I’ve walked into it. I think I walked into a manhole. Ha! Quite a deep one. Or maybe I walked into one previously. Crawled out and walked straight into another one.
I should have stopped at the edge of the cliff. Now I feel like I’ve plunged into the raven, trying to grab a lifeline. Hmm… Can I call someone for help? Or use my 50-50? Poll the audience? I just remembered I’ve no audience to begin with. Haha… Sad, but true. I’ve used up my 50-50. What about that call? No one answered. Haha… That’s the ultimate loser!! Ooooo man~~~ I’m a loser!? I dun wanna be a loser!! But in any match, there will be a winner and a loser. Today, I may have lost. But as long as I am not down and out, I will bounce back and win someday. Maybe not in this match. Perhaps another one. We can afford to lose. Just don’t be the type that’s sore. Am I being sore now? I’ve to admit I was rather sore in the beginning. Who doesn’t? Especially when you thought you’ve won the match. Remember Bayern Munich vs Man Utd in the 1999 Champions’ League? What happened? Leading 1-0 and into the dying seconds of the match. Teddy Sheringham? Or more recent one? Liverpool vs AC Milan? 3-0 up at half-time, who would think that Liverpool could conjured a comeback and win 4-3? We just have to be strong mentally. If we ain’t strong in the head, we will still fail no matter how tough you are physically.
Time flies. I guess this is by far the longest blog I’ve written. Its just some thoughts in my head right now. Its coming to the end of the 2nd week of the brand new year and I’m not feeling good at all. Time to seek solace somewhere. Time to hybernate. Time to look ahead and not turn back. I was not given a choice. I was forced into making one. I was cornered. I’ve read somewhere that if a dog gets cornered, it will become aggressive. No matter how calm and friendly it was previously. It will pounced on your and attack! I’m no dog. But I dun like to be cornered. As a matter of fact, no one likes to be driven to a corner. Casper is staring at me now. Beckoning me to bring him down to poo and pee. That’s the routine. Dream on, Tommy. Dream on…
